You brought it on yourself

From Chapter Forty-Two - Gracious Living Without Servants

"It is obviously impossible for a woman doing all her own work and tending several nursery-age children to conduct her home on the same lines as her neighbor does who employs both cook and butler and whose half-grown children are away at boarding school."

p. 380, Amy Vanderbilt's Complete Guide to Etiquette: A Guide to Gracious Living, copyright 1952, 1954

So this year I wrote for My Drunk Kitchen, the hilarious and adorable web series by Hannah Hart, all about cooking. While drunk.

My story is about all that. And fire.

And it has pictures.

En Flambé (2108 words)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Hannah Hart, Alcohol (Ingredient), Cheese (Ingredient)
Summary: Alcohol. Cheese. Fire. What could this possibly be a recipe for?

If you are unfamiliar with My Drunk Kitchen, take a look at Episode 1, Butter Yo Shit on YouTube. It's only about 5 minutes long. (You watched the damn octopus video, didn't you? Hannah is cuter. Trust me.)

Posted, posted, posted!

Is it Yuletide yet?

First of all, good luck! I'm all over the place this year and I am truly amazed and grateful that I've got a match. (ETA: Or a pinch hitter! I've gotten pinch hitters before and I love you, too! You chose me! You brave, weird soul, you.)

So, first the big picture then a little more specificity on what I like about each request.

( My Yuletide Philosophy )

( Edward & Mrs. Simpson )

( Prey series - John Sandford )

( Star Wars: Revelations )

Once again, good luck and I salute you!

It's icon-meme time again! Okay, the weekend was icon-meme time but better late than never. (The motto of Yuletide writers since 2003! Let's start panicking now!)

Anyway.... I asked torch to pick five of my icons for me to talk about. If you'd like to play, baa at me below and I'll pick five of yours for you.

Here's what she chose:


keywords: king in waiting
comment: by joymaru
Oh, Arthur! How so pretty? I love that you mostly don't see his face, that he's in shiny armor, that this could almost be an effigy on a tomb or a knight-to-be standing vigil. Arthur is always as much symbol as he is reality.


keywords: magically delicious
I have no idea who made this; I think I stole it from copperbadge. Salt is pretty miraculous when you think about it. And pretty hilarous, too. Unless you're Lear.



keywords: facepalm!
comment: (like seeing Bruce jerking off to footage of Selina wasn't scarring enough)
I made this! Well, I cropped it and bordered it. In bare-bones Paint, no less. (And at least one person stole it. :P) Tim seems to me a boy who spent much of adolescence in need of brain bleach. See comment above.


keywords: cleavage (fashion accessory of evil!)
comment: (never underestimate the power of the rack)
I did a couple of dialogue-balloon crops. This one's from Young Justice #16:

Wonder Girl: You're not a villain.
Arrowette: I am. And it's gonna stink. I'm not going to get to win anymore. All my friends will hate me. Oh God... I'll have to get a tight, skimpy black leather outfit that shows off my cleavage. Oh God... I'll have to get cleavage.

I love her despairing tone. I hate that she's right. And I'm bemused at how often this icon is in some way on-topic. Oh, Internet!


keywords: gangsta!piglet will cut you
comment: by ravenous_icons (hardcore, yo)
Piglet has unsuspected depths! This is my go-to for hipster irony, for killing my (or your) childhood, and for all-around menace. You should be quivering in fear.

Well, I enjoyed my earthquake. How about you? (I'm not enjoying the adrenaline hangover, however. Headache and bodyache. Damn glands.)

5.9, jeesh. That's a heck of an east coast quake. The epicenter was less than 75 miles south of us. I watched the entire house sway from side to side. No, sway is too mild a word. It doesn't convey the speed and intensity of the movement. I saw the walls and ceiling flex, people. Over and over. If I'd been on the stairs, I don't know if I'd have kept my balance.

Amazingly, not a thing seems to have fallen and no cracks have appeared. Trust me, given the quality construction (ha!), that's a miracle in and of itself.

Mom and I agree that Dad would have loved it.

psu_jedi just found out she's won a radio contest -- two tickets to the US premiere of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 in New York on Monday. Since they can't get child care, her husband suggested she invite me to go with her.

Gee, I'll have to think about it for a mo--

Oh, hell yeah!

So, I'll probably head up to their place on Sunday night and we'll watch Part 1 and then we rendezvous with the radio station's bus at the local mall and leave at 11:30. The premiere is at Avery Fisher Hall at Lincoln Center. We'll be back to the mall around 2, 2:30 am Tuesday.

Pretty good for my first trip to NYC, don't ya think? (Okay, I did make sure I stepped out on the train platform on a trip from DC to Connecticut, but that really doesn't count, much as two plane changes at O'Hare don't count as visiting Chicago. And damn it, I can't count the plane change in Munich since they didn't stamp my passport. Alas, my unprivileged life.)

I am tenatively announcing that Mom and I have survived the weekend.

Given that:

a) it was the first Father's Day without Dad

b) the 17th would have been their 50th anniversary

c) the flu hit me Saturday evening and I'm still recovering

I'm gonna take "survival" as the triumph it so clearly is.

Mom might be discharged from the hospital today.

C'mon, Universe! It's Easter. Do it for the karmic synchronicity. Do it for the symbolism. Do it for the children.

::crosses fingers::

(Please please please. It's Day 26, dammit.)

1:30 am, a call that he was in v-fib, the top and bottom of his heart beating out of rhythm, and that it would most likely only be 20-30 minutes more.

1:45 am, the call that he was gone.